People ask what inspired me and where my piece came from. To me, my piece is a reflection of everything. It's the embodiment of my deepest fears and dreams. Everything from the short finger nails to how their lips appear to quiver. I wanted my piece to be something I could never get tired of looking at, something worthy of further discovering and looking into.

Those who are artists from skin to bone understand how art speaks everything the mouth can't. Growing up in the environment I did has severely impacted who I am today, a place where people were often emotionally unstable and where my role model for what a man should be gave me phallophobia. My sculpture represents the fear of letting go of what feels safe. It's a representation of the dream of someday finding the singular person in this world whose cracks perfectly connect with ones in a way no one else's can, it's finding someone who understands why things considered nothing make you cry and how the tone of a word can affect one so greatly. In their expressions I wanted to capture desperation, love, trust, confusion, a state of hyperfocus, and fear of what's beyond. I wanted their hug to resemble the tightest one possible and yet one so gentle their hearts are barely touching. Although parts of the sculpture are impossible to see, it soothes me to know I took my time with both of them because humans are far beyond a half. Growing up, people have always intrigued, me from their anatomy and how it moves, with every step to how their minds think and hold thoughts. I studied bone structures, muscle and body fat positions long before this as well as psychology which I hope to work with one day. I smoothed them naked because by sculpting them and explaining what they meant to me I knew my feelings would be too. I wanted to present a connection far beyond physical. Although they are hugging and can't see the other's face, they trust that their partner's feelings mirror their own and they do. In their faces I wanted to capture feelings of sensations often overlooked, like how the scent, warmth, presence, and heartbeat of a loved one bring feelings of safety.

This sculpture to me doesn't just mean love and safety of course, as pretty as it would have sounded. I sculpted this because I feel selfish for wanting something like it. If I'm honest with myself, no amount of words can make up the amount of guilt I feel for what has played out in my life and no amount of “it’s not your fault”’s and therapy can truly fix it. I wanted my sculpture to capture how scared I am when I get a ptsd attack, if I'm allowed to call it that. When I feel a lump in my throat, my hands get shaky, and I begin to feel disgusted with my body because it really doesn't feel like mine. Moments like those I wanted my sculpture to say “I know I'm going to be ok on my own but I really don't want to do it alone anymore”.

While sculpting I got emotional but even then I was so genuinely grateful for the opportunity of being able to make something I am proud of out of my experiences. Throughout the sculpting process I pushed myself far beyond what I ever had before. Details like the veins and hands were a true nightmare but I often thought if I didn't give myself and others the representation maybe no one would. I'm often surrounded with people of a similar experiences but I rarely see anyone talk about what is left of us after. Sadly the fingers chipped and although I tried so hard to save them not much could be done. But it's alright because the way her hands look now gives me a weird sort of comfort. One of my biggest fears happened and it wasn't too scary. From the moment the honor had been given to me I knew right away this was my opportunity to make something shame couldn't ever touch so even if people thought It or I were cringey I would still be proud. Even if im not saying it out loud someone is seeing my face and knowing what im thinking and how it makes me feel, I'm letting everyone watching know I’m not scared to speak up anymore; all that trauma is mine and I’m using it to make something, hopefully, others find beautiful and one day I hope to help others feel comfortable enough to make something so ugly into something they can be proud of.