I am a Senior enrolled in Mr. Kelly’s art class at Pacific Grove High School. Psychology has been a passion of mine for years, so this sustained investigation gives me the opportunity to connect to people in a whole new way, gaining an in-depth understanding of human nature and social dynamics. My portfolio captures the stages of life with dementia, and the clash between the coexisting realities of the affected and their caregivers as they grow to accept each other.

I incorporate personal experiences and hours of research into every piece. This year I am branching out into mixed media to incorporate more intricate detail and complex symbolism, enhancing the stories I portray. This way, I can break down the mental states behind human beliefs and actions throughout the chaotic and devastating process of losing a loved one who is still alive. Most of all, I believe that everyone deserves to be seen and appreciated for what they do, and this portfolio is the medium through which I convey my ode to respect all resilient families, and members battling dementia. 

Working and volunteering to help the elderly, I have bonded with a number of dementia patients, some of whom were sadly neglected or mistreated by their families. Since 2020 I have dedicated time each day to visiting and aiding the elderly in my community who lack necessary support, or simply enjoy having a visit from a friend to look forward to. Through these connections, I have come to understand the unfortunately common tragedy of memory loss, and the devastating feeling of isolation that often accompanies it. My community is my greatest inspiration, and it is within these relationships built on compassion and understanding that I find the means to create. Art, for me, becomes a way to honor these moments of shared humanity within tragedy, and recognize the care we give each other that keeps us going, even through loss. 

In the silence of forgetting, the heart whispers truths that words can no longer hold. As dementia progresses, the memories that tether a person to their identity, and to their loved ones, begin to fade, as erasure travels deeper into the roots of their being, dissolving not only recollections but the personal histories and identities of those they once held dear, never to be fully recovered. Yet even as the mind unravels, I believe the soul remembers how to feel. Through my artwork, I strive to capture the endurance of love that transcends the persistence of time, memory, and even loss, as families cling to the fading presence of a loved one whose mind is slowly slipping away. I work to encapsulate the ferocious will of the self to hold onto and preserve fragments of identity and memory against the inevitable unraveling of the mind. Each piece is a symbolic embodiment of that struggle between acceptance and resistance. Through this investigation, I hope not only to portray loss, but also the profound beauty in the fight to remember.

“How Many Times Must We Mourn You?” names the cruelty of dementia and the experience of grieving someone who is still alive. Every visit becomes a funeral for their former self repeated without closure or resolution, and the mourning becomes cyclical, incomplete, and inescapable. I wanted my materials to match the complexity of the topic so this piece is a combination of acrylic paint, beads, hot glue, tile, colored pencil, pastels, acrylic paint pen, foil, photo negatives, a ceramic dinner plate I painted on, fabric, skewers, mixed media paper, a 14x14 wood block. Family photographs function as stained glass windows of the chapel in which the funeral takes place, just how grief is built from the memories of love. A woman with dementia sits upright in her casket, attending her own funeral and holding her own hand, witnessing her own decline. Behind her, the family gathers in shadow, burdened by grief she cannot perceive, as she is not in mourning attire. Dementia renders her physically present, yet unreachable by the weight of what is being lost as her family grieves what she cannot name. An angel emerges in the background plate unbound by time and memory, observing without intervention as the presence of dementia seems to avert their all-seeing eyes. Even under the watchful eye of nature’s guardians there is no rescue or intervention in the truly relentless growth of dementia. The plate is painted with the complexion of fire and a futile rage towards nature and forces larger than us all. However, the spirals around the angel reflect the absurdity of nature, its inevitability, and indifference to human quandaries. Plants with flowers scattered throughout the scene are appropriate to a funeral, but these vines also consume the golden chapel doors of prosperity, flourishing green with envy for a life interrupted, spreading like an invasive weed. Encircling the angel, a centipede forms an ouroboros against a ground of red passion and rage. The ouroboros: a testament to repetition in the endless cycle of loss, and the centipede: traditionally a symbol of strength and resilience amidst hardship. Dementia destroys continuously, hereditarily, yet love grows and persists in this endless cycle alongside it within all loved ones affected. No matter how tediously my work breaks down what we know of this terrifying nature, we will never understand it, we can only try to be compassionate and understand each other. Like the grief itself, my work offers no resolution, only witnesses to many of life’s common but unseen forces, dementia, caregivers, the human will to hold on for each other, just as you witness it now.